shivver: (musicspheres)
[personal profile] shivver
Style practice! Either take a few paragraphs you've already written or write a short scene of two people wandering together through a carnival or circus, then go back and edit it to transform passive language and adverbs (anything ending in -ly) to active language. Get rid of "was"s and "were"s, and the "seemed"s, "appeared"s, "looked"s, "tried"s, etc. Rewrite those "-ly"s so that you're describing what they're doing rather than how they're doing it. (e.g. "The corners of her mouth twitched for a moment" rather than "She smiled faintly.")

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