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Fill: Challenge #364 (DW AU)
Jun. 26th, 2024 12:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shivver(Context: Will was trying to avoid sampling a disgusting-looking alien dish, and just got interrupted. The giffra is the eating utensil.)
Original paragraph:
Glad of the reprieve, Will dropped the utensil on the plate and turned to see two women, one bright-eyed with short blond hair and the other with long dark hair and a serious demeanour, trailing behind the first. From the greeting, obviously one was the Doctor, and judging from fashion sense alone, he knew it wasn’t the one in the back.
Edited paragraph:
Glad of the reprieve, Will stabbed his giffra in the mound of nauseating molluscs and pushed his plate away, then turned to the two women approaching their table. The blonde dashed past the other diners, her bright smile all for David, and Will guessed from fashion sense alone that this was the Doctor. The other, a slight young woman with long dark hair and a serious demeanour, trailed behind her.
Original paragraph:
Glad of the reprieve, Will dropped the utensil on the plate and turned to see two women, one bright-eyed with short blond hair and the other with long dark hair and a serious demeanour, trailing behind the first. From the greeting, obviously one was the Doctor, and judging from fashion sense alone, he knew it wasn’t the one in the back.
Edited paragraph:
Glad of the reprieve, Will stabbed his giffra in the mound of nauseating molluscs and pushed his plate away, then turned to the two women approaching their table. The blonde dashed past the other diners, her bright smile all for David, and Will guessed from fashion sense alone that this was the Doctor. The other, a slight young woman with long dark hair and a serious demeanour, trailed behind her.
