Fill: Challenge #160 (Orig)
Feb. 1st, 2023 01:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shivver posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
tenminutesadayI've been meaning to rewrite the beginning of my origfic - what I have isn't particularly good, and there's a bit I'd rather take in a different direction. So here's an attempt, but I don't like this one either.
The fifth time that Kit's mobile buzzed and flash, lying on the coffee table between the Tarot deck and two wine glasses with just a sliver of crimson in the bottom of each, she sprang up from the sofa and grabbed it. Sighing heavily, she stomped to the coat rack by the door and dropped the device into her handbag.
"Weren't bothering me none," Lara noted. She knelt on the floor, marking out a great circle on the carpet with blue masking tape in the space they'd cleared of furniture.
"Nor me," Louise added. She lay sideways in the leather armchair, eyes barely open, though whether that was due to boredom waiting for Lara to set up her next foray into the arcane arts or how much she'd so far imbibed, Kit wasn't sure. "Who wants you so bad anyway?"
"Uncle George." Kit snagged the next bottle from the dining table and returned to her seat, taking care to step squarely in the middle of Lara's work. As she spoke, she filled her own glass as well as the glass Louise swung her way. "Haven't heard from him for months, I think. He's probably coming down to visit Mum and thought I should know."
"Didn't you read the messages?"
"Nope. Not like I'm going to remember them tomorrow morning." She downed half the glass she'd just poured, then topped it back up.
The fifth time that Kit's mobile buzzed and flash, lying on the coffee table between the Tarot deck and two wine glasses with just a sliver of crimson in the bottom of each, she sprang up from the sofa and grabbed it. Sighing heavily, she stomped to the coat rack by the door and dropped the device into her handbag.
"Weren't bothering me none," Lara noted. She knelt on the floor, marking out a great circle on the carpet with blue masking tape in the space they'd cleared of furniture.
"Nor me," Louise added. She lay sideways in the leather armchair, eyes barely open, though whether that was due to boredom waiting for Lara to set up her next foray into the arcane arts or how much she'd so far imbibed, Kit wasn't sure. "Who wants you so bad anyway?"
"Uncle George." Kit snagged the next bottle from the dining table and returned to her seat, taking care to step squarely in the middle of Lara's work. As she spoke, she filled her own glass as well as the glass Louise swung her way. "Haven't heard from him for months, I think. He's probably coming down to visit Mum and thought I should know."
"Didn't you read the messages?"
"Nope. Not like I'm going to remember them tomorrow morning." She downed half the glass she'd just poured, then topped it back up.
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Date: 2023-02-07 04:09 am (UTC)I think it's good to revisit openings. I thought chapter one of FFK was pretty solid for almost a decade and then Tos started singing his poetry in my ear and shoved his way into the story two years ago (7th Jan 2021 to be exact). The story has been much better for his presence, I do have to admit! He is a great foil to the protagonist, Sray.
Hopefully you are able to put together a satisfactory beginning!